A man, getting along in years Funny Jokes 09

1.

Funny Jokes

A man, getting along in years, finds that he is unable to perform s..ually.He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work.Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man.The medicine man says, ‘I



2.

Funny Jokes

A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing.Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:“Before you leave, I want you to hear how thi



3.

Funny Jokes

An old man was at home on his death bed.
Suddenly he smelt something amazing.
It was the beautiful aroma of his favourite chocolate chip cookies.
With his last strength, he got out of bed and staggered to the kitchen, where his wife of 50 years,



4.

Funny Jokes

Two friends went to interview for the same job.
They were both in the waiting area when the first friend got called for his interview.
The second friend gave him a thumbs-up as he headed into the interview room.
The interviewer reviewed the man’s



5.

Funny Jokes

A monk and a priest are driving down a street in different directions.
Oddly enough, they end up getting into a crash.
They both get out of their cars, infuriated that there had been a wreck.
But since both of them are men of God, they began to t



6.

Funny Jokes

A young woman started work in the small English Village chemist shop.She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public.The Chemist was going on holiday for a couple of days, and asked if she wouldbe willing to run the shop on her own.She had to



7.

Funny Jokes

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150.
His parents look at the truck and ask, “Where did you get that truck?!”
“I bought it today,” he says.
“With what money?” says his mother arching an eyebrow.
They knew what a new F150



8.

Funny Jokes

“Follow me son”, the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of peopleThe father added, “First, we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.”And they did.“Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times w



9.

Funny Jokes

One day a man walked into a sporting goods store looking to buy a rifleThe man had never been hunting before and asked the clerk if he could recommend a rifle.“Oh yes,” the clerk said“I'm not a very good shot, but I've done quite a lot of hunting in my da



10.

Funny Jokes

We were fooling around, the passion started to heat up, when she suddenly says: “I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”I said, “WHAT? Then what was all that about?!?”Then she uttered the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear…“Y



11.

Funny Jokes

There was an old man who had a dream one night that he would be protected from a ravaging storm that would engulf his whole village.The next day, as expected, a terrible storm came to his region.The first day a neighbor of his offered help for him to flee



12.

Funny Jokes

A guy and a girl meet at a bar.
They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again.
The girl h



13.

Funny Jokes

One day a hare met a tortoiseShe made fun of slow pace of the tortoise and said,“You have as many legs as I have but I am sure, you cannot run as fast as I canMost probably you can't run at all”.The tortoise became very angryHe answered quietly, “You can



14.

Funny Jokes

My uncle Jim is getting older, and he’s having trouble with his memory.
So he went to his doctor, and he started taking these pills to help his memory.
“Hey Uncle Jim,” I said, “what are those memory pills you’re taking called?” “Ahhhh…um….hmmm” he



15.

Funny Jokes

A new general was allotted to a new army base.
After some time in the base he realized how there were two army men guarding an empty bench in shifts.
He asked his colleagues and his juniors what it was all about. A colleague said “I don’t know but i



16.

Funny Jokes

Come out of the stall with wet hands.
Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, ‘Darn, I almost made it!’
Wash you hair and dry it in the hand dryer.
Wear papertowels wrapped around your head and pretend you’re Erykah Badu.
Write o



17.

Funny Jokes

Three engineers are riding in a car: an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer.
Suddenly the car stalls and stops by the side of the road.
The three engineers look at each other with bewilderment, wondering what could be



18.

Funny Jokes

A man goes to the doctor and complains that his wife cant hear him.How bad is it? the doctor asks.I have no idea, the husband says.Well, please test herStand 20 feet away from her and say something.If she doesn't hear you, get closer and say the same thin



19.

Funny Jokes

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beerThe bartender hands him the beer and says, “You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?”The big gu



20.

Funny Jokes

Four men went golfing one dayThree of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the billThe three men started talking and bragging about their sonsThe first man told the others, “My son is a home builder, and he i



21.

Funny Jokes

She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.She writes:Dear Granddaughter,The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper stickerI was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just



22.

Funny Jokes

A young boy, about seven years old, was at the corner grocery picking out a box of laundry detergent.The grocer walked over and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.“No laundry” the boy said, “I'm going to wash my dog.”“Bu



23.

Funny Jokes

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 betThe bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patronAnyone who could squeeze one more drop



24.

Funny Jokes

Here's the surprising answer of a 6 year old child.Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker.The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they



25.

Funny Jokes

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office.
After his checkup, doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress.
If you don’t do the following,



26.

Funny Jokes

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question,“Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?”“None,” replied Johnny, “cause the rest wo



27.

Funny Jokes

A ventriloquist is performing and makes a blonde joke.
A blonde woman in the audience is offended and says “How does my hair color affect my intelligence and value as a person?”
The ventriloquist apologizes and promises not to make any more blonde j



28.

Funny Jokes

A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, “$500 if we fail to fill your order.”When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant tail on rye.She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchenAlmost immediately



29.

Funny Jokes

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.“Not a chance,” says the husband, “It is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed.“Who was that?” asked his wife.“Just some



30.

Funny Jokes

A fox sneaked into a farm and grabbed a prize rooster.
The farmer saw him and raised the alarm and he and his dogs started chasing the thief.
The fox, though he was holding the rooster in his mouth, was running very fast.
“Get him! Get him!” shou



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