1.
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.“So, what is it?” grumbled the governor.“Judge Gerber has just died” said the att
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.“So, what is it?” grumbled the governor.“Judge Gerber has just died” said the att
2.
One evening, a beautiful 17 year old daughter came home, feeling slightly worried.
Her dad noticed that something was wrong, and repeatedly asked her if there was anything she wanted to talk about.
Finally, the daughter revealed what had been bother
One evening, a beautiful 17 year old daughter came home, feeling slightly worried.
Her dad noticed that something was wrong, and repeatedly asked her if there was anything she wanted to talk about.
Finally, the daughter revealed what had been bother
3.
While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously.To his amazement, a genie came forth.This particular genie, however, stated that he could only de
While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously.To his amazement, a genie came forth.This particular genie, however, stated that he could only de
4.
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot.Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot.After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot.The bartender is curious and asks him “every time you order a shot, you
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot.Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot.After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot.The bartender is curious and asks him “every time you order a shot, you
5.
The old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said, “I would like to withdraw £10”.The teller told her, “For withdrawals less than £100, please use the ATM.”The old lady wanted to know why.The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her, “T
The old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said, “I would like to withdraw £10”.The teller told her, “For withdrawals less than £100, please use the ATM.”The old lady wanted to know why.The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her, “T
6.
A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance.
The golf pro saw her heading back a
A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance.
The golf pro saw her heading back a
7.
Johnny’s dad told Johnny to take a shower.
“I’m scared, can I take a shower with you?” Johnny said.
“No, son, that would be weird,” his father replied.
“Please?” he cried.
“Okay, okay, but just don’t look down..”
Johnny, being the curious b
Johnny’s dad told Johnny to take a shower.
“I’m scared, can I take a shower with you?” Johnny said.
“No, son, that would be weird,” his father replied.
“Please?” he cried.
“Okay, okay, but just don’t look down..”
Johnny, being the curious b
8.
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog
9.
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.“You've got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded“Or just a bed, I don't care where.”“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” admitted the manager, “and he mi
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.“You've got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded“Or just a bed, I don't care where.”“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy,” admitted the manager, “and he mi
10.
… with two large bags over his shoulders.The guard stops him and says, “What's in the bags?”“Sand,” answered Juan.The guard says, “We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.”The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds n
… with two large bags over his shoulders.The guard stops him and says, “What's in the bags?”“Sand,” answered Juan.The guard says, “We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.”The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds n
11.
A man walks into the front door of a bar He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.The bartender politely informs the man that it appears he has already had plenty to drin
A man walks into the front door of a bar He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.The bartender politely informs the man that it appears he has already had plenty to drin
12.
1Call when you say you are going to call.2Never lie, about anything.3Showing emotion is good, it does not make you weak, it makes you human.4Girls talk on “Girls Night Out” so don't be surprised if you get in trouble when we get back.5The correct answer t
1Call when you say you are going to call.2Never lie, about anything.3Showing emotion is good, it does not make you weak, it makes you human.4Girls talk on “Girls Night Out” so don't be surprised if you get in trouble when we get back.5The correct answer t
13.
Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 storeas they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “wouldn't a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?”The second nun answered, “indeed it would, sister, but I would not feel comforta
Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 storeas they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “wouldn't a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?”The second nun answered, “indeed it would, sister, but I would not feel comforta
14.
After a while, One guy looks at the other and says, “I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.”The other guy responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”The first guy says, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?”The oth
After a while, One guy looks at the other and says, “I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.”The other guy responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”The first guy says, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?”The oth
15.
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.
The first one tells her friends, “my son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him “Father.”
The second Catholic women chirps, “Well, my s
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.
The first one tells her friends, “my son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him “Father.”
The second Catholic women chirps, “Well, my s
16.
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel,
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel,
17.
3 men are playing golf at a Country Club: Obi Wan Kenobi, Darth Maul and a very old man.
Obi Wan tees off and hits his ball in the sand trap. He mind controls his caddy to mark it a hole-in-one.
Next Darth Maul hits his ball and it lands in the roug
3 men are playing golf at a Country Club: Obi Wan Kenobi, Darth Maul and a very old man.
Obi Wan tees off and hits his ball in the sand trap. He mind controls his caddy to mark it a hole-in-one.
Next Darth Maul hits his ball and it lands in the roug
18.
A businessman is hurrying home on the motorway after a hard days work when he is stopped by a policeman.“Do you know you were driving 30 mph over the limit?” asks the policeman.“Eh, actually no, officer, it's a big car and it just sort of coasts along… yo
A businessman is hurrying home on the motorway after a hard days work when he is stopped by a policeman.“Do you know you were driving 30 mph over the limit?” asks the policeman.“Eh, actually no, officer, it's a big car and it just sort of coasts along… yo
19.
A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet.
He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp he’s never seen before.
“This will look good on my mantel,” he said,
A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet.
He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp he’s never seen before.
“This will look good on my mantel,” he said,
20.
A cowboy, who just moved from Wyoming to Texas walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bart
A cowboy, who just moved from Wyoming to Texas walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bart
21.
A husband and wife are eating at Hooters for their 20th anniversary.
A gorgeous waitress comes up and asks them what they’d like to drink.
“Oh my god, you are gorgeous.” Said the husband.
His wife just shook her head and smiled.
“Why don’t you
A husband and wife are eating at Hooters for their 20th anniversary.
A gorgeous waitress comes up and asks them what they’d like to drink.
“Oh my god, you are gorgeous.” Said the husband.
His wife just shook her head and smiled.
“Why don’t you
22.
… so he decides to go down to the morgue after class and practice a little.Well, he uncovers the first guy and there is a cork in his butt! He thinks it's a little strange, so he pulls it and music starts playing!“… On the road again, just can't wait to g
… so he decides to go down to the morgue after class and practice a little.Well, he uncovers the first guy and there is a cork in his butt! He thinks it's a little strange, so he pulls it and music starts playing!“… On the road again, just can't wait to g
23.
A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache.Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache.Finally his
A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache.Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache.Finally his
24.
A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends.“Oh, no!” she suddenly exclaimed“Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husbandHe'll be so annoyed if it's not ready on time.”When she got home, she opened a can of cat foo
A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends.“Oh, no!” she suddenly exclaimed“Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husbandHe'll be so annoyed if it's not ready on time.”When she got home, she opened a can of cat foo
25.
Phil goes to Europe and leaves his favorite dog with his brother JamesWhile in Europe, Phil calls James to check on his dog and asks, “So James, how's my favorite dog doing?”James very tersely replies, “Your dog is dead.”“What?” says Phil“You can't just t
Phil goes to Europe and leaves his favorite dog with his brother JamesWhile in Europe, Phil calls James to check on his dog and asks, “So James, how's my favorite dog doing?”James very tersely replies, “Your dog is dead.”“What?” says Phil“You can't just t
26.
A 91-year-old lady comes to the dentist’s office in North Dakota.
She claimed it was an emergency, so the young doctor working in the clinic prepared himself for the worst.
The old lady walks into the dentist’s office with her cane in one hand, stru
A 91-year-old lady comes to the dentist’s office in North Dakota.
She claimed it was an emergency, so the young doctor working in the clinic prepared himself for the worst.
The old lady walks into the dentist’s office with her cane in one hand, stru
27.
A guy comes home from work and he is quite upset.His wife looks worried and asks him what's wrong.He shakes his head and refuses to say anything.Later, during dinner, he's just pushing his food around on his plate and staring out the window.“Honey, what i
A guy comes home from work and he is quite upset.His wife looks worried and asks him what's wrong.He shakes his head and refuses to say anything.Later, during dinner, he's just pushing his food around on his plate and staring out the window.“Honey, what i
28.
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps you when you lieHe decides to test it out on his son at supper.Dad says: “Where were you last night?”Son says: “I was at the library.”The robot slaps the son.Son says “OK, I was at a friend's house.”“Doing wha
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps you when you lieHe decides to test it out on his son at supper.Dad says: “Where were you last night?”Son says: “I was at the library.”The robot slaps the son.Son says “OK, I was at a friend's house.”“Doing wha
29.
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, “Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at homeI want her to know what I go thr
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, “Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at homeI want her to know what I go thr
30.
Here's the surprising answer of a 6 year old child.Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker.The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they
Here's the surprising answer of a 6 year old child.Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker.The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they
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