1.
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner:The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked“If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner:The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked“If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead
2.
He was hooked on trees his whole life.2Why was Santa's little helper depressed?Because he had very low elf esteem.3What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?Hits a gnome and runs.4What do you call a broke Santa Claus?Saint-nickel-less.5. What do you cal
He was hooked on trees his whole life.2Why was Santa's little helper depressed?Because he had very low elf esteem.3What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?Hits a gnome and runs.4What do you call a broke Santa Claus?Saint-nickel-less.5. What do you cal
3.
Two blonde gals went together to play the slot machines at the casino.
Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she would go to the front of the casino and sit on the bench to wait for the other.
Trixie quickly lost all her money and went
Two blonde gals went together to play the slot machines at the casino.
Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she would go to the front of the casino and sit on the bench to wait for the other.
Trixie quickly lost all her money and went
4.
Jesus and Moses are relaxing on a boat and talking about the good old days.
The subject of miracles comes up, and they decide to see if they can still perform them.
“It’s been almost 4000 years since I did this one” Moses says, then raises his arms.
Jesus and Moses are relaxing on a boat and talking about the good old days.
The subject of miracles comes up, and they decide to see if they can still perform them.
“It’s been almost 4000 years since I did this one” Moses says, then raises his arms.
5.
Two old farmers, Joe and Bob, lived as neighbours but didn’t like each other much.
In 1999, there was a period of -30 degrees centigrade cold and Bob and Joe had nothing to do because of it.
So they bet a bottle of vodka who can sit out on the windo
Two old farmers, Joe and Bob, lived as neighbours but didn’t like each other much.
In 1999, there was a period of -30 degrees centigrade cold and Bob and Joe had nothing to do because of it.
So they bet a bottle of vodka who can sit out on the windo
6.
An old Italian man goes to church for confession, he starts “Father forgive me for I have sinned. During the war I hid a young Jewish girl in my cellar”.“That was a wonderful thing you did and needs no forgiveness”, Said the priest.“That's not all, we st
An old Italian man goes to church for confession, he starts “Father forgive me for I have sinned. During the war I hid a young Jewish girl in my cellar”.“That was a wonderful thing you did and needs no forgiveness”, Said the priest.“That's not all, we st
7.
Johnny’s dad told Johnny to take a shower.
“I’m scared, can I take a shower with you?” Johnny said.
“No, son, that would be weird,” his father replied.
“Please?” he cried.
“Okay, okay, but just don’t look down..”
Johnny, being the curious b
Johnny’s dad told Johnny to take a shower.
“I’m scared, can I take a shower with you?” Johnny said.
“No, son, that would be weird,” his father replied.
“Please?” he cried.
“Okay, okay, but just don’t look down..”
Johnny, being the curious b
8.
The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it.Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting an
The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it.Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting an
9.
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when, all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.The old farmer, after seeing what had happened, went over to investigateHe then dug a hole and burie
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when, all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.The old farmer, after seeing what had happened, went over to investigateHe then dug a hole and burie
10.
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.He looked at her for a while, and then said, “You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”She asked, “What does that mean?”He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant,
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.He looked at her for a while, and then said, “You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”She asked, “What does that mean?”He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant,
11.
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a “manager”. The questions are not that difficult.1-How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe an
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a “manager”. The questions are not that difficult.1-How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe an
12.
He asked the preacher if he could participate in the door-to-door selling of bibles.The preacher agreed, but knowing the young man had a bad stutter, only gave him 3 bibles to sell.The following day the young man returned asking for more.The preacher ga
He asked the preacher if he could participate in the door-to-door selling of bibles.The preacher agreed, but knowing the young man had a bad stutter, only gave him 3 bibles to sell.The following day the young man returned asking for more.The preacher ga
13.
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman.
The general replied “1956, ma’am.”
The woman, in disbelief said “1956?!
That long? Come with me and let me make your night better.”
The woman and general went back t
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman.
The general replied “1956, ma’am.”
The woman, in disbelief said “1956?!
That long? Come with me and let me make your night better.”
The woman and general went back t
14.
He starts dialing numbers on his hand, like a telephone, and talking into his hand.The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here.The guy says, “You don't understandI'm very hi-techI had a pho
He starts dialing numbers on his hand, like a telephone, and talking into his hand.The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here.The guy says, “You don't understandI'm very hi-techI had a pho
15.
Jonny went to school one day and later that day his dad got a call
saying he needs to pick up his son because he had had s*x with a teacher.
When Jonny got home his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike.
When they bought
Jonny went to school one day and later that day his dad got a call
saying he needs to pick up his son because he had had s*x with a teacher.
When Jonny got home his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike.
When they bought
16.
Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company.Susan spoke to the insurance agent and said,“We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money.”The agent replied, “Whoa there, just a minute.Insurance doesn't work
Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company.Susan spoke to the insurance agent and said,“We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money.”The agent replied, “Whoa there, just a minute.Insurance doesn't work
17.
After settling in, she decides to message her friend.“Kate,” she wrote, “I finally moved out of that dingy old office and into a beautiful new one.”Happy to hear this news, Kate orders a bouquet of flowers to send to Jenny's new location.The next day, a b
After settling in, she decides to message her friend.“Kate,” she wrote, “I finally moved out of that dingy old office and into a beautiful new one.”Happy to hear this news, Kate orders a bouquet of flowers to send to Jenny's new location.The next day, a b
18.
When Pat and Mike met each other on the street one day, Pat noticed that Mike had a terrible cold.“Have you seen a doctor about that cold?” he asked.“No,” said Mike, “But I probably shouldDo you know a good doctor?”Pat gave him the name of his own doctor
When Pat and Mike met each other on the street one day, Pat noticed that Mike had a terrible cold.“Have you seen a doctor about that cold?” he asked.“No,” said Mike, “But I probably shouldDo you know a good doctor?”Pat gave him the name of his own doctor
19.
A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says,
“What are you doing?” “I’m going to commit suicide,” she says.
While he doesn
A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says,
“What are you doing?” “I’m going to commit suicide,” she says.
While he doesn
20.
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north.The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read.One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap.The wife decided to take the
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north.The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read.One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap.The wife decided to take the
21.
He asks him what happened.His friends says, “Well I was in church and…”The man interrupts “Church! How do you get hurt in church?”The friend continues, “Well, I was sitting behind this woman Angelina, and after a while, what with all the standing, sitting
He asks him what happened.His friends says, “Well I was in church and…”The man interrupts “Church! How do you get hurt in church?”The friend continues, “Well, I was sitting behind this woman Angelina, and after a while, what with all the standing, sitting
22.
A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said,
“For being such an exemplary married couple and fo
A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said,
“For being such an exemplary married couple and fo
23.
A group of tourists was visiting a crocodile farm and they were in a floating structure in the middle of a crocodile lake.The owner of the farm shouted:“Whoever jumps into the water and swims to shore, will receive 10 million dollars.”The silence was deaf
A group of tourists was visiting a crocodile farm and they were in a floating structure in the middle of a crocodile lake.The owner of the farm shouted:“Whoever jumps into the water and swims to shore, will receive 10 million dollars.”The silence was deaf
24.
A man, reading a book by candle-light, came across a sentence which stated that men with long beards were fools.This distressed the man because he had a long beard himself.He had always thought the beard made him look scholarly and dignified, but now he b
A man, reading a book by candle-light, came across a sentence which stated that men with long beards were fools.This distressed the man because he had a long beard himself.He had always thought the beard made him look scholarly and dignified, but now he b
25.
A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it’ll take about an hour for him to check it.
While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time.
The penguin isn’t the neatest eater, and he ends
A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it’ll take about an hour for him to check it.
While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time.
The penguin isn’t the neatest eater, and he ends
26.
A poor slave, ill-treated by his master, runs away to the forest.
There he comes across a lion in pain because of a thorn in his paw.
The slave bravely goes forward and removes the thorn gently.
The lion without hurting him goes away.
Some day
A poor slave, ill-treated by his master, runs away to the forest.
There he comes across a lion in pain because of a thorn in his paw.
The slave bravely goes forward and removes the thorn gently.
The lion without hurting him goes away.
Some day
27.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsorin
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsorin
28.
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all of these years.
Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.
” The cats says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and ha
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all of these years.
Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.
” The cats says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and ha
29.
A woman awakes in the middle of the night to find her husband not in bedShe puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of himHe appears to be deep in thought, just stari
A woman awakes in the middle of the night to find her husband not in bedShe puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of himHe appears to be deep in thought, just stari
30.
She's looking to make fillets for dinner and asks the guy behind the counter for a suggestion.“I'd recommend this right here, ma'amIt's new to the market.”“What kind of fish is it?” She asks.“It's dam fish, ma'am.”The pastors wife abruptly says“How dare y
She's looking to make fillets for dinner and asks the guy behind the counter for a suggestion.“I'd recommend this right here, ma'amIt's new to the market.”“What kind of fish is it?” She asks.“It's dam fish, ma'am.”The pastors wife abruptly says“How dare y
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