1.
The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it.Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting an
The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it.Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting an
2.
There was once a great actor, who had a problem.
He could no longer remember his lines.
Finally after many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.
The director says,”This is the most important part, a
There was once a great actor, who had a problem.
He could no longer remember his lines.
Finally after many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.
The director says,”This is the most important part, a
3.
Me and my two brothers wanted to give my grandpa nice birthday gifts.
My two brothers, both more wealthy than me, bought a brand new car and a beautiful cabin on lakefront property respectively.
I couldn’t afford anything other than a talking parrot
Me and my two brothers wanted to give my grandpa nice birthday gifts.
My two brothers, both more wealthy than me, bought a brand new car and a beautiful cabin on lakefront property respectively.
I couldn’t afford anything other than a talking parrot
4.
Doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road.The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up,helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed
Doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road.The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up,helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed
5.
Pam and Kate are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.
Pam pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
“What in the heck is that?” asks Kate.
“A condom”, repli
Pam and Kate are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.
Pam pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
“What in the heck is that?” asks Kate.
“A condom”, repli
6.
A little old couple in their eighties was sitting on the couch watching the [email protected] movie channel:He looked at her and asked“Do you think we can still do that?” “Well, we can sure try!” She answered. So they shuffled off to the bedroom. He went
A little old couple in their eighties was sitting on the couch watching the [email protected] movie channel:He looked at her and asked“Do you think we can still do that?” “Well, we can sure try!” She answered. So they shuffled off to the bedroom. He went
7.
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman.Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I'll leave the key under the matFix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque.“Oh, by the way d
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman.Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I'll leave the key under the matFix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque.“Oh, by the way d
8.
Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store.Little Johnny wanted to go to the toy department, but grandmother said that they had to stop in the ladies clothing department first.He obviously couldn't wait that long, and the next t
Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store.Little Johnny wanted to go to the toy department, but grandmother said that they had to stop in the ladies clothing department first.He obviously couldn't wait that long, and the next t
9.
Little Mary was not the best student in school. Usually, she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
“Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?”
When Mary didn’t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seat
Little Mary was not the best student in school. Usually, she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
“Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?”
When Mary didn’t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seat
10.
“Follow me son”, the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of peopleThe father added, “First, we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.”And they did.“Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times w
“Follow me son”, the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of peopleThe father added, “First, we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.”And they did.“Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times w
11.
Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way.Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.After a lengthy sitti
Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way.Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.After a lengthy sitti
12.
Tax day, April 15, was looming when an elderly woman showed up at the IRS.She said she required a thick stack of tax forms.“Why so many?” the clerk asked.“My son is stationed overseas,” she said.“He asked me to pick up forms for the Marines on the base.”“
Tax day, April 15, was looming when an elderly woman showed up at the IRS.She said she required a thick stack of tax forms.“Why so many?” the clerk asked.“My son is stationed overseas,” she said.“He asked me to pick up forms for the Marines on the base.”“
13.
A woman finds Aladdin's magic lamp.She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual.The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her wishes:She says“I want my husband to have eyes only for me.I want to be the only one in his life.I want him to s
A woman finds Aladdin's magic lamp.She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual.The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her wishes:She says“I want my husband to have eyes only for me.I want to be the only one in his life.I want him to s
14.
Three old men were sitting on a bench when a reporter approached them.“I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell me your secret to long life,” the reporter asked.The three old men agreed and the reporter asked the first old man hi
Three old men were sitting on a bench when a reporter approached them.“I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell me your secret to long life,” the reporter asked.The three old men agreed and the reporter asked the first old man hi
15.
Four elderly ranchers were enjoying breakfast in a small cafe in northern Arizona.They were talking about everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the “good ol' days.”Eventually, the conversation moved on to their spouses.O
Four elderly ranchers were enjoying breakfast in a small cafe in northern Arizona.They were talking about everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the “good ol' days.”Eventually, the conversation moved on to their spouses.O
16.
A tail gunner was being court-martialed.“What did you hear in your headset?” demanded a superior officer.“Well,” replied the airman“I heard my squadron leader holler, ‘Enemy planes at 5 o'clock!”“What action did you take?' persisted another officer.“Why,
A tail gunner was being court-martialed.“What did you hear in your headset?” demanded a superior officer.“Well,” replied the airman“I heard my squadron leader holler, ‘Enemy planes at 5 o'clock!”“What action did you take?' persisted another officer.“Why,
17.
… and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.“You've done very well so far,” said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, “but for a million euros you've only got one lifeline left, phone a friend. If you get the next question wrong, y
… and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.“You've done very well so far,” said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, “but for a million euros you've only got one lifeline left, phone a friend. If you get the next question wrong, y
18.
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking marijuana and appeared in court.
The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, I’d like to give you a second chance.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug us
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking marijuana and appeared in court.
The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, I’d like to give you a second chance.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug us
19.
A mobile phone on a bench rings, and a man puts the phone on speaker and begins to talk as he puts on his golf shoes. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.Man: “Hello?”Woman: “Honey, its me. Are you at the club?”Man: “Yes.”Woman: “I'm at the mall n
A mobile phone on a bench rings, and a man puts the phone on speaker and begins to talk as he puts on his golf shoes. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.Man: “Hello?”Woman: “Honey, its me. Are you at the club?”Man: “Yes.”Woman: “I'm at the mall n
20.
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said:
“Get your treatment for $500 – if not cured get back $1,000.”
Doctor “Young,” who was positiv
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said:
“Get your treatment for $500 – if not cured get back $1,000.”
Doctor “Young,” who was positiv
21.
One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone.
In a worried state, she awakens her husband and they both set off to find the old woman.
Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there’s the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocio
One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone.
In a worried state, she awakens her husband and they both set off to find the old woman.
Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there’s the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocio
22.
Two men are sitting at a bar, slowly sipping their drinks.
After a while, the first man approaches the other man, and sits next to him. “This place is great, isn’t it?” he asks.
The second man, somewhat surprised at the stranger’s remark, replies, “
Two men are sitting at a bar, slowly sipping their drinks.
After a while, the first man approaches the other man, and sits next to him. “This place is great, isn’t it?” he asks.
The second man, somewhat surprised at the stranger’s remark, replies, “
23.
Nasreddin Hodja was lying in the shade of an ancient walnut tree.His body was at rest, but, befitting his calling as an imam, his mind did not relax.Looking up into the mighty tree he considered the greatness and wisdom of God.“God is great and God is goo
Nasreddin Hodja was lying in the shade of an ancient walnut tree.His body was at rest, but, befitting his calling as an imam, his mind did not relax.Looking up into the mighty tree he considered the greatness and wisdom of God.“God is great and God is goo
24.
A class of 3rd graders return from their field trip to the farm and the teacher asks them,
“What kind of noises did you hear at the farm?”
The first kid raises his hand and says,
“I heard the cow go moo!”
The second kid raises his hand and say
A class of 3rd graders return from their field trip to the farm and the teacher asks them,
“What kind of noises did you hear at the farm?”
The first kid raises his hand and says,
“I heard the cow go moo!”
The second kid raises his hand and say
25.
After a preacher dies and goes to Heaven, he notices that a New York cab driver has been awarded a higher place.“I don't understand,” he complains to Saint Peter“I devoted my entire life to my congregation.”“Our policy here in Heaven is to reward results,
After a preacher dies and goes to Heaven, he notices that a New York cab driver has been awarded a higher place.“I don't understand,” he complains to Saint Peter“I devoted my entire life to my congregation.”“Our policy here in Heaven is to reward results,
26.
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel,
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel,
27.
She started thinking about her grandparents… but what about her grandparents' parents? And their parents?Thoughtfully, she asked her mother, “Mom, where do people come from? I mean, does everyone have parents?”Her mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve a
She started thinking about her grandparents… but what about her grandparents' parents? And their parents?Thoughtfully, she asked her mother, “Mom, where do people come from? I mean, does everyone have parents?”Her mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve a
28.
Four married guys go fishingAfter an hour, the following conversation took place:First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekendI had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.”Seco
Four married guys go fishingAfter an hour, the following conversation took place:First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekendI had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.”Seco
29.
A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the “Chicken Surprise.” The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot.Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady l
A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the “Chicken Surprise.” The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot.Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady l
30.
One day a hare met a tortoiseShe made fun of slow pace of the tortoise and said,“You have as many legs as I have but I am sure, you cannot run as fast as I canMost probably you can't run at all”.The tortoise became very angryHe answered quietly, “You can
One day a hare met a tortoiseShe made fun of slow pace of the tortoise and said,“You have as many legs as I have but I am sure, you cannot run as fast as I canMost probably you can't run at all”.The tortoise became very angryHe answered quietly, “You can
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