1.
There was a party in the woods and, all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain.Two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain and finally reached their car just as the rain let up They jumped in, started it up and headed down the road, laugh
There was a party in the woods and, all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain.Two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain and finally reached their car just as the rain let up They jumped in, started it up and headed down the road, laugh
2.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.“Not a chance,” says the husband, “It is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed.“Who was that?” asked his wife.“Just some
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.“Not a chance,” says the husband, “It is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed.“Who was that?” asked his wife.“Just some
3.
Two guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding.
“I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not.”
His buddy replies, “Oh, there’s an easy test for that.
All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel.
You paint one ball red a
Two guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding.
“I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not.”
His buddy replies, “Oh, there’s an easy test for that.
All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel.
You paint one ball red a
4.
The female brain works on a different tangent than male.Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking to my wife about lifeIn-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying.I told her, “Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally depende
The female brain works on a different tangent than male.Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking to my wife about lifeIn-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying.I told her, “Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally depende
5.
“I can't speak to my wife directly as she might find it offensive, given our old age” he says to the doc.“There's a simple trick you can try to determine her hearing,” explains the doctor
“I can't speak to my wife directly as she might find it offensive, given our old age” he says to the doc.“There's a simple trick you can try to determine her hearing,” explains the doctor
6.
St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball.
Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.
“Very well,” said the gatekeeper of Heaven.
“But
St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball.
Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.
“Very well,” said the gatekeeper of Heaven.
“But
7.
Three high ranking Axis soldiers are about to be interrogated during WWII.
One is a member of the Gestapo, one is an Imperial Japanese officer and one is a Fascist Italian Commander.
They are all sitting in their holding cell discussing what they ar
Three high ranking Axis soldiers are about to be interrogated during WWII.
One is a member of the Gestapo, one is an Imperial Japanese officer and one is a Fascist Italian Commander.
They are all sitting in their holding cell discussing what they ar
8.
Phil goes to Europe and leaves his favorite dog with his brother JamesWhile in Europe, Phil calls James to check on his dog and asks, “So James, how's my favorite dog doing?”James very tersely replies, “Your dog is dead.”“What?” says Phil“You can't just t
Phil goes to Europe and leaves his favorite dog with his brother JamesWhile in Europe, Phil calls James to check on his dog and asks, “So James, how's my favorite dog doing?”James very tersely replies, “Your dog is dead.”“What?” says Phil“You can't just t
9.
A farmer was taking three of his donkeys for sale to the market.
On the way, he saw a river and decided to have a dip.
Since he had only two ropes to tie the donkeys to a tree, he looked around wondering how to tie the third one.
He saw a sage an
A farmer was taking three of his donkeys for sale to the market.
On the way, he saw a river and decided to have a dip.
Since he had only two ropes to tie the donkeys to a tree, he looked around wondering how to tie the third one.
He saw a sage an
10.
A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes.His boss asked what happened.The man said, “I was sitting behind a big woman at church.When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack,so I pulled it out.She turned arou
A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes.His boss asked what happened.The man said, “I was sitting behind a big woman at church.When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack,so I pulled it out.She turned arou
11.
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She asked him: “Daddy, what is s*x?”
The Dad was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question,
then she is old enough to g
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She asked him: “Daddy, what is s*x?”
The Dad was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question,
then she is old enough to g
12.
Two friends went to interview for the same job.
They were both in the waiting area when the first friend got called for his interview.
The second friend gave him a thumbs-up as he headed into the interview room.
The interviewer reviewed the man’s
Two friends went to interview for the same job.
They were both in the waiting area when the first friend got called for his interview.
The second friend gave him a thumbs-up as he headed into the interview room.
The interviewer reviewed the man’s
13.
Little Mary was not the best student in school. Usually, she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
“Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?”
When Mary didn’t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seat
Little Mary was not the best student in school. Usually, she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
“Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?”
When Mary didn’t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seat
14.
Three High school girls go to the same bathroom every 4th period and each time they gossip and spill tea, and do their makeup, and each time before they leave they write a message on the mirror with their lipstick.Sometimes they write the name of the boy
Three High school girls go to the same bathroom every 4th period and each time they gossip and spill tea, and do their makeup, and each time before they leave they write a message on the mirror with their lipstick.Sometimes they write the name of the boy
15.
Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over.
The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face.
Stunned, the driver asks, “Why did you do that??”
The tr
Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over.
The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face.
Stunned, the driver asks, “Why did you do that??”
The tr
16.
A priest was sent to a very small church in the backwoods of AlaskaAfter a couple of years the Bishop decided to pay the priest a visit to see how he was doing.The priest said that it was a really lonely job and that he didn't think that he could have mad
A priest was sent to a very small church in the backwoods of AlaskaAfter a couple of years the Bishop decided to pay the priest a visit to see how he was doing.The priest said that it was a really lonely job and that he didn't think that he could have mad
17.
… and there's a beautiful redhead sitting at the next table.He's been sneakily checking her out ever since he arrived, but doesn't have the courage to start talking to her.Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the m
… and there's a beautiful redhead sitting at the next table.He's been sneakily checking her out ever since he arrived, but doesn't have the courage to start talking to her.Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the m
18.
The wife checked her husband's phone and found these names:‘The tender one'‘The amazing one'‘Lady of my dreams,She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother.Then she called the second number to which his sister replied.When she
The wife checked her husband's phone and found these names:‘The tender one'‘The amazing one'‘Lady of my dreams,She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother.Then she called the second number to which his sister replied.When she
19.
A lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, “Father, I have a problem.I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing… they keep saying ‘Hi, we're hot… do you want to bang us?'”“That's terrible!” says the priest.“But,
A lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, “Father, I have a problem.I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing… they keep saying ‘Hi, we're hot… do you want to bang us?'”“That's terrible!” says the priest.“But,
20.
Sometimes, if you really really want something, you’ve just got to keep trying until you get it.
No matter what your goals, you have to push boundaries and excel yourself to achieve anything.
But, does that apply to children? What if you really want
Sometimes, if you really really want something, you’ve just got to keep trying until you get it.
No matter what your goals, you have to push boundaries and excel yourself to achieve anything.
But, does that apply to children? What if you really want
21.
A guy comes home from work and he is quite upset.His wife looks worried and asks him what's wrong.He shakes his head and refuses to say anything.Later, during dinner, he's just pushing his food around on his plate and staring out the window.“Honey, what i
A guy comes home from work and he is quite upset.His wife looks worried and asks him what's wrong.He shakes his head and refuses to say anything.Later, during dinner, he's just pushing his food around on his plate and staring out the window.“Honey, what i
22.
An elderly couple is both lying in bed one morning, having just woken from a good night’s sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds.
“Don’t touch me”
“Why not.” He asks?
She answers back. “Because I’m dead.”
The husband says to her.
“Wha
An elderly couple is both lying in bed one morning, having just woken from a good night’s sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds.
“Don’t touch me”
“Why not.” He asks?
She answers back. “Because I’m dead.”
The husband says to her.
“Wha
23.
Help In The OfficeA new employee stands before a paper shredder looking confused.“Need some help?” a secretary asks.“Yes,” replies the newcomer“How does this thing work?”“Simple,” she says, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shred
Help In The OfficeA new employee stands before a paper shredder looking confused.“Need some help?” a secretary asks.“Yes,” replies the newcomer“How does this thing work?”“Simple,” she says, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shred
24.
Around lunchtime Sheryl left school and headed for home, crying because her first period had started and she had no idea what it was.
The girl’s teacher was reluctant to get involved, so she suggested Sheryl talk to her mom.
She was walking home whe
Around lunchtime Sheryl left school and headed for home, crying because her first period had started and she had no idea what it was.
The girl’s teacher was reluctant to get involved, so she suggested Sheryl talk to her mom.
She was walking home whe
25.
An old man is eating his lunch in a restaurant when three bikers walk up to him.They make fun of him for being old, and then one of them stubs his cigarette into the truck driver's food.Another spits in the truck driver's milk.The last one smashes the tru
An old man is eating his lunch in a restaurant when three bikers walk up to him.They make fun of him for being old, and then one of them stubs his cigarette into the truck driver's food.Another spits in the truck driver's milk.The last one smashes the tru
26.
Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving.
They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power.
But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.
Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves.
Their hearts
Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving.
They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power.
But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.
Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves.
Their hearts
27.
… and his wife immediately starts smacking him, left and right across the face, cursing.“Woah woah woah… what gives?!”, the man says.The smacking intensifies briefly, and then she let's up.“I picked up your coat from the dry cleaners earlier today, and fo
… and his wife immediately starts smacking him, left and right across the face, cursing.“Woah woah woah… what gives?!”, the man says.The smacking intensifies briefly, and then she let's up.“I picked up your coat from the dry cleaners earlier today, and fo
28.
Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company.Susan spoke to the insurance agent and said,“We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money.”The agent replied, “Whoa there, just a minute.Insurance doesn't work
Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company.Susan spoke to the insurance agent and said,“We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money.”The agent replied, “Whoa there, just a minute.Insurance doesn't work
29.
The bartender says, “Let me see and I'll consider it.”So the guy reaches into his bag and pulls out a miniature piano and a hamster. The hamster sits in front of the piano and starts playing. And not just banging out “Chopsticks”, the hamster is plays C
The bartender says, “Let me see and I'll consider it.”So the guy reaches into his bag and pulls out a miniature piano and a hamster. The hamster sits in front of the piano and starts playing. And not just banging out “Chopsticks”, the hamster is plays C
30.
Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now passed-away Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.
One sunny afternoon, out of nowhe
Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now passed-away Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.
One sunny afternoon, out of nowhe
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